tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-160502062011-04-22T12:55:19.510+08:00we live in this world without the certainty of living lifekanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.comBlogger241100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16050206.post-1145599012732509912006-04-21T13:30:00.000+08:002006-04-21T13:56:52.743+08:00

Last evening, I was sipping my beer at the bar. At one table, there were four guys enjoying their happy hour session. They were chatting away for hours, and the more beer was poured into their tiny beer glasses (NOT mugs!), the louder the conversation became. Naturally, my ears attempted to catch the topic of their conversation. What suprises me most was not the topic. I heard more noises emitted

kanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16050206.post-1143087280030506952006-03-23T12:09:00.000+08:002006-03-23T12:14:40.043+08:00

A big kerangan in the middle of the beautiful river, covered with sands and nice colorful pebbles. If you walk on it, there is this feeling of serenity as you feel the pebbles slowly roll under your feet, moved by your weight. The sand on a hot day becomes hot, soothing to the feet. And if you put your feet in river a few strides away, it's refreshing. You walk again and there's a sharp pain

kanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16050206.post-1140169872755912222006-02-17T17:43:00.000+08:002006-02-17T17:51:12.786+08:00

This week's been quite messy! I've just realized that I do not have the ability to juggle more than one job at a time. But who's supposed to do that? It's insane! I can't understand why someone would go through the whole process of torturing themselves at the expense of their life. Yes, I'm talking about work. All these excuses about "work builds my character", "work is enjoyable", "work is great

kanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16050206.post-1139794011596794182006-02-13T09:12:00.000+08:002006-02-13T09:35:22.156+08:00

During the dry season last year, the "authorities" put the people in a state of panic due to the lack of water in the Tasik Kenyir's water catchment area and its dam. So, everyone was forced to ration water while the "authorities" monitored the water level (as if they could do something about it...). Today, again it's the water issue in Tasik Kenyir's water catchment area and its dam. This time,

kanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16050206.post-1139564444528102022006-02-10T17:32:00.000+08:002006-02-10T17:40:44.543+08:00

Usually, I look forward to the weekend. Today, however, is different. I feel weak, exhausted from work. Maybe it's too much, I don't know? The most frustrating thing is that no matter how much I try to organize myself and give myself that extra push, I am always behind deadlines at work. I can't understand it. Did something go wrong with my calculation on life? It's not much different this week.

kanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16050206.post-1139220551542387482006-02-06T17:41:00.000+08:002006-02-06T18:09:12.176+08:00

"So, what are your reasons this time? Why have you not been writing in your blog for a while?", the Boss demanded angrily.I stood there with my head down, staring at my shoe-string. I thought, "hhm..shoe-string? As in 'shoe-string' budget? Now, I could go somewhere, couldn't I? That's what the book said - 'Shoe-string budget travelling'!"The Boss slammed the table with his tiny fist (it didn't

kanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16050206.post-1130132983631966972005-10-24T13:16:00.000+08:002005-10-24T13:51:55.723+08:00

Toilet n - room with a bowl connected to a drain for receiving and disposing of urine and faecesMy toilet did not function as it should according to the above definition. It did "receive" but failed to "dispose". I am sure many of us would like to deny this but of all the rooms in our homes, the toilet occupies the most significant space. Across cultures, the Toilet is perceived as an unclean

kanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16050206.post-1129112325223527212005-10-12T18:09:00.000+08:002005-10-12T18:20:25.826+08:00

For the past couple of days, the thought came to my mind that I should just take a year's break from work and commit myself to the cause against illegal logging activities in my area. There have been lots of discussions, dialogues, meetings and just talks about the situation there but as of now, there has been little action made. And worse, we're running against time. By the time we're finished

kanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16050206.post-1128845101414400202005-10-09T16:01:00.000+08:002005-10-09T16:05:01.416+08:00

I spent the whole of yesterday at home, recovering from a terrible hangover. The nerves inside my head were throbbing violently and my eyes were attempting to literally pop out several times. It is usually during such moment that a profound statement reveals itself: "I will not drink anymore"

kanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16050206.post-1128584720542507132005-10-06T15:26:00.000+08:002005-10-06T15:45:20.546+08:00

I got a call from a lawyer friend yesterday and told me he wanted to meet to discuss some issues that require my expertise. So, we met a coffee shop at noon with a couple of his other lawyer friends. Most of them were deemed 'notorious' because they are known to fight for indigenous communities against the powers-that-be, especially in regards to land development and customary rights issues.

kanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16050206.post-1128478089019658982005-10-05T09:51:00.000+08:002005-10-05T10:11:13.000+08:00

responsible adj. - having control and authority; reporting and accountable (to); sensible and dependableI do not have any problem with that term when it concerns my personal life. I believe that I have control and authority over my life; I only have myself to report and be accountable to (e.g. I'd go to the mirror and ask myself every evening: "My goodness! What in the world have you done today??

kanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16050206.post-1128393250949900512005-10-04T10:30:00.000+08:002005-10-04T10:34:10.953+08:00

Money, money, money, money - isn't it strange how our life is surrounded by it and yet, none of it can really (I mean, REALLY) satisfy us? I'm not talking about an individual human being becoming content because of money but rather the ability to spend it without causing much pain. More specifically, I'm talking about bills to pay, maintenance to make, mortgage, etc. And this does not include the

kanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16050206.post-1128067749551188942005-09-30T16:02:00.000+08:002005-09-30T16:09:09.556+08:00

You see your hands and touch your mouthTheir balls you grab to sweeten your lipsYour dirty hands scribble the wordsOf lies and praises that you loyally spreadAnd now your worth isn't sorely missedYour scribbled words are just piece of shitThe balls you grab are now your ownThose friends you have so "where are they?"

kanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16050206.post-1127730884917315862005-09-26T18:37:00.000+08:002005-09-26T18:34:47.983+08:00

Arrived in Palangkaraya on 20/09 from Jakarta. It is the capital city of Central Kalimantan province and it did not look like a city at all. I've expected the infrastructural facilities in the area as being 'rudimentary', at least, but the situation that captured my impression the most was the haze! I was attending a symposium and lived in a half-star hotel (i.e. where almost everything did not

kanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16050206.post-1127728180723803152005-09-26T17:39:00.000+08:002005-09-26T17:49:43.706+08:00

Kota Indah is covered in a blurWhite illusion is a silent deathAnd until the wind does stirThe reaper's knife outside its sheath

kanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16050206.post-1127130872403867442005-09-19T19:45:00.000+08:002005-09-19T19:54:32.436+08:00

Flew into this wonderful city today for unfortunately only the night. Off to Palangkaraya tomorrow morning to attend a convention. Jakarta is a wonderful city and quite huge! I was told there are more than 15 million people inhabiting this city and of course, breathing its heavily polluted air. But the social ambience around the city is quite interesting and everyone's basically eke-ing out to

kanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16050206.post-1126700046072620912005-09-14T20:07:00.000+08:002007-01-01T11:56:12.923+08:00

Finally, my day has ended. It's 8pm and I think I should go home now and get some rest. Coming back to work after one week's break is really putting a burden on me. I had too many stupid discussions today. Seriously, I've done all I could!Anyway, that aside. Am going to Kalimantan next week for a week on a job-trip. Looking forward to it but at the same time, the hassle that I had to go through

kanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16050206.post-1126660610351632992005-09-14T09:12:00.000+08:002005-09-14T09:16:50.356+08:00

Just returned from a stressful but worth it holiday. Some thing more should be done to stop the ruthless logging activities but I will return. And now, back to the normal, mundane working routine which really kills off my brain. Will write again later.

kanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16050206.post-1125739468835454682005-09-03T17:09:00.000+08:002005-09-03T17:24:28.840+08:00

Finally! The stupid promotion exercise is over!! It's been a torturing one month for many of us, not because the course was difficult but it was just plain shallow. The organization, management, personnels, topics and the whole syllabus were just plain stupid! It's over...BUT if I do not attain more than 80% for this exercise, I won't get a promotion and worse, I might have to re-sit for the

kanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16050206.post-1125657971097556562005-09-02T18:35:00.000+08:002005-09-02T18:46:11.103+08:00

[mee-grain] n severe headache, often with nausea and visual disturbanceThat's what I had the whole day today. I was sitting in this comfortable, fully airconditioned, tiny room with 50 other people, listening to different presentations. The topics were so diverse that it included research in tertiary education, micro organisms, child care, formation of planet Earth, relevance of social

kanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16050206.post-1125570971543717752005-09-01T18:24:00.000+08:002005-09-01T18:37:40.110+08:00

I don't understand why people are interested in asking what happened after the fact. For instance, this morning, I had an exam and I realize that I did not do well. In fact, I thought I did a disastrous job! But even by the end of the day, some of my fellow examinees would come up to me and ask "how did you think you do in your exam?". I'd say, "rather shitty". And they'd ask, "why?", "which

kanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16050206.post-1125553746898501522005-09-01T13:43:00.000+08:002005-09-01T13:49:06.900+08:00

This morning was great! I sat for my exam and when I read the questions, I went blank. I should have panicked but I guess I was stupid enough to know the meaning of that word. Hence, I spent more time imagining the consequences of failing that ridiculous exam. Which was not all that bad, I must say. But 'twas my ability to elevate my level of imagination to that of blind philosophers or

kanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16050206.post-1125481021982853942005-09-01T08:31:00.000+08:002005-09-01T08:36:23.466+08:00

i stared at the walls and imagined the disasters today. both natural and human-made. i think we're all going crazy. i looked away and stared at the door instead. there i saw a man clutching a bleeding heart. there's a hole on his chest.

kanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16050206.post-1125477775006009442005-09-01T07:40:00.000+08:002005-08-31T16:42:55.010+08:00

i've done nothing today. i realized that i can be lazy if i want to and get nothing done. but will leading me to no where be fulfilling? i mean isn't "fulfilling one's life" is the essence of living?

kanidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05555149522777144391noreply@blogger.com